Opening a conversation with someone you are concerned about can be difficult. However, your support could be the encouragement to change that someone needs to live safely and violence-free.
Don’t judge
Offer support, not advice. Listen closely to what is being said and be available – family violence thrives in isolation. Victims can come to live in safety, and abusers willing to address their behaviours with sincerity can change
Dial 111
If the person you are supporting is ringing you in crisis, always call the police in an emergency
Call a local agency
Family violence support agencies want to hear from you! They can provide helpful guidance on how to support someone living with family violence. Families/whanau and community are a huge part in living free from violence
Don’t blame the victim
Let the victim know the violence is not their fault – try not to ask questions such as “why don’t you just leave?” or “what did you do to provoke the situation?” as these questions make someone living with family violence feel as though they are to blame for their situation. They aren’t. The onus is always on the abuser.
Keep educated
If we know what family violence looks like, we can help prevent it by being aware of its presence and knowing what to do to help. Visit our pages here (link to understanding violence pages) to get an overview of the cycles family violence often takes and its different forms. There is plenty of great information available online and many in the community who work in the field who will happily share information about how to build a safer environment for families (link to support pages for victims, abusers)